The Battle of Right and Wrong

Over the past few weeks questions have arose over our oldest future and whether people truly deserve second chances. Legally she is my step-daughter but there is nothing step about it. She is my daughter and a socially acceptable title is not emotionally acceptable. Unfortunately, a man that has had less then very little contact with her is now trying to disrupt our family. I've never met the man and I am struggling to forgive him for the transgressions not to me but my family members. Christ teaches to love and accept others even those that have hurt you, a lesson that is much easier taught then followed and practiced. Now we will spend time in a court system wasting tax payer money, not even a note or a phone call of intentions to bridge the divide.
So what's right what's wrong?
When is what's best for our kids, best for our kids.
When did a judge gain the ability to know what's best?
How much bad does someone have to do to be labeled as bad?
Prayers have been raised, but we will not just give up.